Don’t Say No to Firsts

I’m a creature of habit, I have to admit. I always have a plan, a routine, and when things get in the way I get nervous. I like being in control and when I’m not, I’m not myself and it’s evidently noticeable. I’ve been called a wet towel and that’s seared in the back of my mind. SORRY, maybe I like myself and how I am and knowing what I’m doing next. I hate last minute plans; there’s a difference between spontaneity and remembering me at 11 o’clock at night on a Friday when you’re already at the bar. Eff off.

Even though these days most people don’t make an effort to treat you special anymore it can’t discourage you from taking chances on new people and trying new things (I have to constantly remind myself of this). I use the “If it’s meant to be, it will be” line way to much and it gets me out of putting myself out there. Everyone has caught on so I have to put my big girl pants on and actually do stuff instead of hanging out with my dog as my go-to. Loneliness is dangerous. It’s addicting but, it’s necessary. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.

Let’s talk about first dates now. THE MOST AWKWARD THING IN THE WORLD. Actually and quite honestly, no they aren’t that bad at all AND that’s coming from my mouth. The build-up before the date is what drives you nuts. You try to script out conversations in your mind and worry about how different/ awful you look in person compared to your Instagram-filtered pictures. Well, I wouldn’t worry too much about whatever you plan because it never goes that way. I like to always think the worst and convince myself that I’m going to be kidnapped and if that doesn’t happen then it’s considered a W in my book.

First dates are actually lovely. And, even if there’s no mutual attraction at least you don’t wonder “what if?”. You can absolutely still have fun without a romantic connection. It’s a great chance to learn about someone else, which can always open other doors. First dates are wonderful experiences you can learn from and a chance that shouldn’t be passed upon. If nothing comes from it, that’s okay. If you get to enjoy a second date with someone, great. If something stems from it, wonderful. In a couple years he’ll either be someone you knew or your husband. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make “the one” matter less. Always say yes to firsts.

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2 Comments

  1. Great post! Love your line about figuring ourselves out when we’re alone, so true. It’s hard to focus on just yourself when you’re distracted by a group or constant social engagements. Obviously it’s important to have that social aspect of your life, but I think there’s a delicate balance.

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