Atlantic Avenue

While walking to the Blue Line tonight I saw something that really really pissed me off therefore I must post. I passed a couple coming out of drinks/dinner/date saying their goodbyes on the corner. I thought it was really sweet that they couldn’t be pulled away from each other. They made me jealous for a split second.

She went down Congress Street and he followed my path down Atlantic Avenue. He caught up to me while I was waiting for a walk sign. He started calling someone and I was thinking to myself, “No way guys call their bros after dates to rave about it or vent”. Newsflash: they don’t and I don’t even do that so I don’t know why I had any faith in this kid. I hear him say “Hey baby, I thought about you all day. What have you been up to?”….. my mouth gaping ….. “Can I come over? I can be at your apartment in 15 mins. Cool. See you soon hun”……my face turning red and holding myself back from flat tiring him. I am still SO pissed. Like, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT AND BE THAT SLIMY?

I get where my generation comes from, I really do. We casually date and what not. We don’t like to label ourselves because we all suffer from extreme FoMO. Can’t do commitment, hell no, never that. It pissed me off because I know the chick I just saw has no clue that the mouth she just kissed is about to kiss another chick. It terrified me to think that this could happen to me, past, present, or future. I hate being the last to know. I’m not good at being left in the dark especially when it comes to matters that involve me. HELLO. Why isn’t it a thing to get all your cards out on the table in the beginning? I hate my generation sometimes. I think we’re too smart for our own good.

While on the train going home my faith in guys was restored, though. Mind you I am 100% not saying all guys are liars and sneaks. Not at all. I’ve dated some great guys and I would never think twice about their character. I’ve also dated some questionable guys that I still don’t think would have two timed me but who knows. I don’t. Anyways, I saw the most beautiful interracial couple ever. They were just two soft, sweet looking people. He had his arm around her and she had a very subtle smile on her face. A smile that could only be the result of a great guy. And, the way he looked at her made me smile! You could honestly see how happy they were together and how great they felt to be next to each other. Faith restored. I’m really that easy. I’m such a sucker for love.

I saw two sides of the spectrum tonight which brought all sorts of feels. I, myself, am the first one to admit I am not an angel. I’ve had breakfast with one guy, lunch with another, and dinner with a different one all in the same day so I get it but at least I’m not a hypocrite. I tell them if I want a relationship. I tell them if I can’t do a relationship. I try my hardest to be fair and always think how I would feel if I was in their shoes. I’ve sucked at relationships for quite a while now. I still have yet to break my 6 month max (not a title I’m proud to hold). I understand the satisfaction of casual dating and not being “tied down” or have to answer to anyone, where it’s all about how much fun you can have until you meet someone else. But, I also really understand having someone who has your back, who wants to get to know everything about you because they care about you, and someone who truly wants to hear your pit and peak of each day. I hope you find what you’re looking for. If you haven’t yet, I hope you have the strength to keep looking once you know you’re in the wrong direction.

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