What I’ve Learned 6 Months Out of College

    • You need to drink water. You’ll look like shit real quick if you don’t keep your body hydrated. Drinking coffee and beer daily doesn’t count. You have to take care of your body. It’s the one thing that you have complete control over and no one can take it away from you. In 50 years you’ll either thank me or tell me I was right. Remember, you aren’t a 3-season athlete anymore. Taking the stairs doesn’t cut it for cardio.

  1. You won’t have shit figured out by the time you graduate. Be happy if you graduated in 4 years- that’s a huge accomplishment within itself. Weren’t you supposed to find your husband in those 4 years? Get engaged right after graduation and then have babies 2 years later? Oh yeah, sorry, you planned on all that getting done by the time you were 25. Worry about where you’re going to live after your lease is up.
  2. Beer is not your friend. Beer will make you fat so fast you won’t even see it coming. Don’t take it personally, though, your boyfriend is going to start looking like Homer Simpson once he starts the 9-5 grid and realizes this is the rest of his life. Trick him into drinking Michelob Ultra now. It all tastes like shit anyways.
  3. Guys are still dumb. They don’t get it and won’t mature until they’re 43 (that’s a fact- it was in the Huffington Post). It’s not all their fault, though. Our generation was struck with the “grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome and now our DNA is composed of it. As their salaries increase so does the size of their head.
  4. I still have 3 friends from highschool that I talk to monthly. I have 3 friends from college that I talk to even less. You know who is there for you when it counts and that’s what matters. You don’t have to talk to them everyday. You’re not the only one with a job, other friends, relationships, family, and other issues so yeah, the phone DOES work on both ends. Grow up.
  5. You can’t spend $5 on a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha from Starbucks everyday anymore because now you have to worry about budgeting. You don’t need a financial advisor. Just don’t spend more than you’re making. It’s simple. You now have to worry about student loans in addition to whatever bills your mommy and daddy realized they don’t have to pay anymore. Bring your lunch to work and save a couple bucks. Bring a mug and drink your office’s free coffee. It’s not Starby’s but it’s FREE and you’re not Beyonce.
  6. You will want to delete Facebook because everyone is annoying as fuck with their engagements to their high school sweethearts, drooling babies, and new apartments. There’s a select few that have cool shit going on in their lives like having a cool job or traveling to exotic places that you can use as inspiration. And, then there are always the total trainwrecks that still post pictures of their bongs, post the most ridiculous statuses about their on-again-off-again relationSHIT, and half naked pictures showing off their new infinity tattoo because no else is that creative who just make you feel like you’re an effing genius.
  7. Your parents are kind of cool. Now that you proved to them you can be a functioning human being that has the potential to genuinely benefit society they will relax a little. I shoot the shit with my parents all the time now. I call my mom almost every day as soon as I walk out of the office to vent about my day; my mom is the best listener.
  8. Sell yourself. Talk to strangers. Even if you already have a job you have to keep networking and meeting new people. Always keep doors open and thank people for their time. Talk about yourself with confidence and energy. Even if you you’re not happy with where you’re currently at you can’t complain about it. Honestly, no one cares. Never say no to an opportunity.
  9. Have manners but don’t be a pushover. “Please. Thank you. Excuse me. How are you..” I’m not sure when people decided to start being rude but it’s not cool. It’s not going to kill you to let the old person on the train before you get on, I promise. But, if someone is blocking the doorway to the only exit without any consideration of any one but themselves then I say give them a hip check. They won’t do that again and you’ll save someone else from the ignorance.

*Bonus: Don’t ever do anything half-assed. Do your job or pass it up for someone else to do it right. You can tell when someone cares about their work and when they don’t. Everything I do is done the best I can. Study every chapter that’s going to be on the test not only the short ones. If you’re cleaning your room don’t just pick up your clothes and throw them in the back of your closet so your room looks clean. Work as hard at your job eight months in as if it’s your first week. If you’re going to half ass it, why bother?

I need this.

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