Annual Review

annualreview

I am the girl that has over 3,400 tagged pictures on Facebook. I’d bet on it that 3,000 of those we taking during high school. It’s like everyone was always taking pictures. Like these were the best times we’ll ever have and need to document everything. Every now and then I like to look back and reminisce and I thank God there are so many picture because I was hot. I can’t believe how happy I looked and how skinny I was. I kick myself because I remember always second guessing my appearance and going on diets that lasted for 7 out of 24 hours. My “diet” would be no breakfast, ceasar salad and grandma’s cookie for lunch and then a donut and coffee before practice, then dinner would be whatever delicious leftover my mom had cooked. I was in the best shape of my life and I wish I didn’t take for granted how carefree I was and how little I had to actually worry about. Also, now I firmly believe being on any sort of diet that doesn’t let you eat what you want is no way to live, my friend.

Almost 5 years later and I’ve graduated college, bought my own car, pay all my own bills, work 6 out of 7 days and have been on the 9-5 grind for exactly a year. It’s incredible how things change so fast, right before your eyes. It definitely doesn’t feel like I should be done with school. Sometimes I walk by other people dressed in their business suits and I doubt they’d even believe I have a salary, benefits, and 401k just like them. But, I dooooo.

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m unhappy now. I’m happy, honestly. The things that made me happy 4 years ago just don’t anymore. I don’t see my best friends everyday in homeroom or in lunch like I used to. It doesn’t mean we’re not still best friends. Just like I’ve changed, everyone else has too. It’s amazing to see how perspectives and priorities change. It’s great that I put myself first now. That’s probably what I’m most proud of myself for. If I’m not happy, I don’t talk to it, I don’t acknowledge it, I don’t even think about it. I move past it. I let it know it’s not good enough for me and why and I move on. “It” can be a person, place, or thing to keep it short and sweet. In highschool I might have had time to wait around for others to make their own decisions and base my actions off of them but now I go out and I make myself happy. I don’t worry about how others feel, I worry about it after. It’s my life, right?

Yeah, I might not have 1/4 of the  stress than I did back then but I secretly like it. It means I’m pushing myself to excellence, that’s mainly what I stress out about anyways. I always want to do a good job at work and in any relationship or friendship I have now. Work won’t quit on me if I do a good job. A relationship isn’t as secure, isn’t that ironic? I worry about getting involved with someone more than losing my job. On February 24th I officially hit one year of employment at my first full time position out of school. It’s the healthiest and happiest relationship I’ve ever been in. Not to mention, it’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. I might have more unanswered questions about my life right now rather than when I was about to graduate but I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready to take on life head on than at this very moment.

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