Remember in My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Thea Voula found out Ian didn’t eat meat at all? That is what my mind tells myself every day of Holy Week. My body doesn’t understand why I’m not eating a steak.
It hurts to not eat meat, dairy, fish or oil for 7 days. Alcohol isn’t even a question. You can’t touch it unless you’re going to Communion. Now, if you’re a good Greek, you fast for 40 days hardcore. Basically, going full Vegan. But, I’m not a good little Greek girl and Yiayia let me know that on Palm Sunday. She also made me promise her that I would follow the rules during Holy Week.
But, it’s SOOOO hard. I’m so whiny right now. I’m the type of person who wants something as soon as she’s told she can’t have it. I also have a bit of an addiction to Chocolate. The only thing I’m not struggling with is drinking my coffee black because that’s probably the only healthy decision I make on a daily basis. But, even right now I’m craving a Dunkachino; again, I want it because I can’t have it.
FYI, I’ve only been conscious for 8 hours on DAY 1.
- I don’t understand Vegans or how they do what they do. I just ate a salad that consisted of two items: lettuce and vinegar. My throat is burning.
- I wish I ate a steak, cheeseburger, 2 ice cream sundaes, and a hash omelet on the last day I had before this started. (This would be my final meal if I was ever to be executed. You learn a lot about yourself when you’re up against challenges like this.)
- I’m tired and I have a headache. I feel like I get strength from meat and my body is completely shutting down on me. Is being Anemic an excuse to have some pepperoni…on top of a cheese pizza?
- Jesus loves me. He’ll still love me if I screw this up. But, I’m absolutely not telling Yiayia if I mess up. She’ll break out the wooden spoon…Speaking of Yiayia, how in the World do/did these little old ladies fast for 40 days and I’m totally falling apart?
- At the end of this, what feast do I have to look forward to?
- My uncle will cook Lamb outside… that I never eat because once I look into the eye of an animal, I can’t ingest it. Call me crazy.
- Lamb Stew (magiritsa) which is everything in the lamb, which I also won’t be eaten.
- Red eggs. I don’t even like eggs. I’m not excited to eat hard boiled eggs but I will. My egg always breaks so, I don’t play the cracking egg game much either.
- At the end of this, I just want Taco Bell.
- Everyone else only has to give up soda for Lent. C’mon….
- I don’t mind going to church every day during Holy Week. I do mind going and seeing the boys I went to Greek School with. Woof. “Yes, I grew up. Thanks for noticing.”
- I know my hair is going to catch on fire during midnight mass. There’s no point in wearing hair spray or getting it done before Easter.
- Church is like a fashion show for Greeks. Everyone dresses up in their best digs. You see lots of Louis Vuitton, Chanel, and bling bling. It’s distracting, really.
- I’m so lucky to be Greek. I’m so lucky to be born into this faith and family. I’ve been blessed with this culture that’s brought so much to the World. Our traditions, our bond, our commitment, it’s all so humbling to see. Pascha is the biggest holiday as a Greek Orthodox. I’ll always remember Holy Week with my family and I can’t wait to share that with my own one day. The week is so beautiful, you can’t help but go home and be humbled and thankful for where you come from. Rita Wilson explained The Joys of Greek Easter flawlessly. Mr. Panos did a decent job on YouTube, too.