How NOT to Approach a Girl

OK, the weirdest thing happened to me today and it made me wonder why it’s so wrong to approach a girl you don’t know and just say something as simple as, “I think you’re gorgeous, I’d love to get to know you. Can I have your phone number?” I was approached and it was exactly how not to approach a girl.

Picture this: It’s Thursday, I just got off the train and am walking through the parking lot towards my car after being in the office from 9am- 7pm. I’m 10 minutes away from being home sweet home and the last thing I want to happen would be a stranger talking to me, or someone yelling at me, or me having to fake a smile to save someone’s dignity. I hate doing those things, even separately. Forget it all happening in the same minute.

Ayo, gray hat

This kid is a good 10 feet and a flight of stairs away from me after leaving the train station. He turns and I catch his eye, I guess. It wasn’t a “Keep Calm, Oh she’s cute, and Carry On” it was a “turn around, notice her, make eye contact and hold it until I make her super uncomfortable”. Strike 1.

Now, we’re both heading in the same direction. You’re thinking it’s fate, right? LOL you know me better than that now. His walking pace has slowed down so I had no choice but to catch up to him and speed up because I could feel this kid eyeing me and I just want to get the Hell home. I get a little in front of him and there are at least two parking spaces between us. He yells at me “WHAT’S UP” and I look at him like he stepped on my cat (that I don’t have) and sank the Titanic at the same time. He literally screamed at me and it scared the poop out of me. “Is he mad that I didn’t look at him?”, I think to myself because I’m frozen. I turn my head and give him my best RBF  because I can’t let him know he scared me.

what do you want.gif

He shrinks so fast and after 5 solid seconds of staring in silence, he’s all “uh, I thought uh, I thought I knew you.” I fake smile, turn my head, and keep walking because this boy was an absolute goof. I don’t know what  he expected me to say but he clearly didn’t have a backup plan and definitely didn’t expect me to stare through his soul.

damn

Needless to say, I was speedwalking at this point and our paths sort of cross again and he yells again. Again. “That was uh, awkward… Uh, SORRY”.

First of all, he was super cute, tall, bearded, dressed nice, and someone I would not say no to if he were to ask me for my number. But, he blew it. Big time. If he approached me differently and not with one of those excuses that one would use to see someone that doesn’t want your company. You know that girl you hook up with who always leaves her scarf or earring at your place? That’s her excuse to drop by again. Duh. That’s what I’m talking about.

What he could have said (instead of yelled):

  • Public transportation sucks, eh?
  • It’s almost Friday, right?
  • I saw you and just had to come and tell you that you have the most amazing smile/energy/elbows.
  • Do you know who you remind me of? Someone I want to meet.
  • I saw you and I knew that if I didn’t come and introduce myself, I’d be kicking myself all day.*

Just say hey next time. Quietly. 

Being confident in yourself is hot but being genuine is the whole package. 

*personal favorite.

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